Why in our society, now a days more number of boys and girls are remained
as UNMARRIED even after 30 years! Is there any solutions for these.- A critical
analysis.
I don’t know or understand how to start this?
Whether through story type or points wise? It is because the intensity of the
problems is such that it is very difficult to start with. For your information
gone are the days wherein marriages are made heaven was proved as right. It was
just an easy task to our parents as they knew other side of the parents very
well. Now a day to decide the boy or for that matter a girl to a boy is
becoming a very difficult task! For me it appears just like entering into a
wrestling ring.
In fact there are immense expectations from
parents of both sides. If you see the list they have, you will get giddiness!
In just 40 years back boys and girls used to hear the words of our parents. We
never used to see boy or a girl are able to express their opinions. For that
matter one type of trust falls on our parents in this matter. They also knew
the family and their members as they used to see them either in a feast, or in
a festival of villages or in any marriages or in a thread ceremony like
functions. In very rare cases boy used to see the girl while circling the
temple or in a bangle shop or in any marriage ceremony. We never used to talk
to the girl at all. However now a days, I heard that even months together will
be taken to decide. One of the mothers of an MD, Girl in Clinic, took not less
than 40 days to decide the marriage with the boy. Ultimately she agreed and the
marriage was happily taken. Thanks to that girl. It was my own predictions. Now
days due to technological advance, marriages are for a short period only! Some
marriages will be broken even within 3 months of marriage also! Great! For that
matter, earlier girl used to pass even 5th standard or 7th
standard! Hence they did not have any voice. Now a days, girls are well qualified
to the extent of CA, BE, MBA, M.Sc. or even with three to four post graduate degrees!
They talk always their salary in packages! That is why to get them to agree for
the marriage knot, it will be a head ache as well as Herculean task for the
parents now days. Even parents are such that they lost their grip on their
children. They used to dance to the tunes of their children! In this article, I
used to quote some of my experiences with clear cut examples for the sake of
cleaning the society. I do not know whether I will be successful in this
attempt or not? Whatever I am expressing hear, it may be even my own ideas or
experiences need not be or necessarily be adopted by the readers or adhere to.
Everybody has got freedom to express their
opinions. It is free world. Even you may express your opinion once you read my
article through e-mail, or through what’s app or through some means. That will
be incorporated in my next articles to be coming in future. This is just to give
caution to the forth coming generation. If they go like this, one day we may
not have family at all. Because what I see present days are more numbers of
unmarried boys and girls of aged 32 plus. Now let me start with the category of
“Girls”
1. At first
instances, we have got the prejudice that our daughter is very beautiful. Our
daughter is well qualified. Our daughter is having good earning. Our daughter
is at higher post etc. Let it be. Every
daughter and son is pretty good or handsome for their parents. Who am I to
disturb their sentiments? But if you have all these in your mind and going on
searching for the boy, you in fact forgotten that your daughter attained the
age of 31also. My request here is please do not act as “Gate Keepers” for your
boy or a Girl for that matter. Once she crossed 28, age factors started
appearing on their face, which you people do not know even in your love towards
them. Once she crosses 30, nobody likes your daughter! So when you realize all
these factors? Recently I am approached, rather I approached hemi for the
alliance of his girl, who did Ph.D. in psychology is already attained 39 years.
She is no doubt earning handsome of Rs2.00 Lakhs per month and pretty
comfortable with the company of cats and dogs and lives separately from her
parents also. But what about her human company? Now she realizes the emptiness.
But it may be too late. Still I am having the hope of getting her a competent
match. So going on searching the bride or bridegroom is not a good tradition at
all according to me.
2. Just a few days back, one family came to my house
in search of bride to their daughter. After coming to my house, the girl was
asking me, uncle whether the parents of the boy are laying on wall or on floor?
I did not understand what she meant this question. But her parents are just
smilingly appearing to be patting their daughter’s question. I asked the girl,
what do you mean by this? Her mother explained to me, she meant that her
parents are alive or dead? I was shocked to hear such questions from the
educated girl. Then I asked her parents sarcastically, then why you people came
to my house? You should also be on the wall so that your expenditure towards
the marriage would have been saved. Suddenly they were shocked to hear such types
of direct answer/ questions from my mouth! They are not having anything to talk
further and hence left my house immediately. For such people I do not have any
regards and concerns also.
3. Look, I am an astrologer by hobby, hitherto and now
I am having Doctorate degree in my hand in astrology. I can simply sit by
seeing this entire scenario in our societies. Only after the retirement I swung into action
for these types of social activities. In fact I consider this as one of the
respectable job after the retirement for my type of person. In fact we are connecting one soul to another
soul. Definitely it is considered as Good work in the society. I never used to
either charge them or they in turn honor me also. But sincerely I am telling
you my inner sense or opinion. There is not even has no respect to this kind of
job! Because people do not show even simple courtesy of calling us or informing
us about the engagement or even after the engagement, to the marriage also.
Recently one incident occurred with me. One family of Chennai called me over
telephone in the night at 10.30 for their daughter’s alliance. I asked the date
of birth, time of birth as well as place of birth. Then later on after drawing
her chart I suggested “KUMBHA VIVAH” and told them that once you do this. Your daughter’s
marriage may take place even within two months. To surprise of them, they were
searching for the alliance for the last two years since 2014. But never took
place. After my advising them to do Kumbha Vivah, they did it ar Kumbhakonam
and within 15 days, Chennai boy working in Bangalore came forward and married
in the month of March-April, 2016. Their parents are happy. But not even a
single invitation to me neither for engagement ceremony conducted at
Gurunarasimha Mini Hall at Bangalore nor to the marriage at Gurunarasimha Hall
just opposite, Ramakrishna Ashram, Bangalore. What I wanted to tell is that
this is thankless job!
4. Another girl did visit London, America, France,
Germany and later on she settled at London with a Job having lucrative salary
package! But when she was aged 28, they started for matching horoscopes to her.
To her bad luck there are five fathers to decide her matrimonial issues. Why
you all surprised! It is true. One father is a natural one. Other her maternal
uncle. Other is her mother. 4th and fifth father was her brother and
sister in law! Because of not coming into unanimity in her marriage issues,
they did not even know that she attained 33 years! This is the pity part of her
family! Later onwards she got married and enjoyed only two years of marriage
life and now she came back to India and her husband is at America! Now she got
twins because of the courtesy IVF!
5. Another day mother of a girl and her aunty came to
my house for the alliance to the girl. I have to tell you that her aunty though
was responsible to impart the girl all sorts of education and made her B.E.,
M.B.A and also MS from America, she is not keen to her to tie a marriage knot.
That is because; she herself is unmarried and equally educated also. However,
for the society she exhibits that she is actually keen to her getting marriage
knot as early as possible. Ultimately that girl is already aged 32. Still her
aunty says matching should be good and at least minimum 32 out of 36 astakoot
points should get. The boy should be either equally qualified or one
qualification above the girl’s qualification. His salary must be at least
around Rs.40 Lakhs as the girl isgetting Rs.30 Lakhs at present. So, where
shall I get a boy whose salary and qualification is above that of the girl? So
you may imagine the fate of that double or treble degrees girl.
6. Another girl did CA and CS. Her mother was telling
me whenever I sent the horoscope, whether GURU BALA is there for the marriage?
Whether the horoscope tallies? I used to get angry because I myself am an
astrologer and that she knows it very well. Now she has already crossed 28 and
if she is not serious enough, perhaps that girl will remain unmarried. About 8
days back I told the maternal uncle of this girl that, you call personally the
girl and ask about her opinions about the marriage and go ahead for showing boy
in your house! Do not give importance to your sister. Though he was very
reluctant earlier for this suggestion of mine, later onwards he agreed to do
this and acted positively also. What is the outcome of my advice you know?
About two days back he is successful in getting an acceptance from the girl to
one boy working in a good software company in a good salary package! So at
least I am satisfied that one girl is going to be married! That too on my
advice. That girl was married on 17th Feb, 2017. Kudos to me of
course.
7.
Some people are very peculiar.
They got some disease of simply collecting the horoscopes and returning after 8
days by saying that horoscope is not matching. Ultimately the girl becomes
above 30 years!
8. One person came from Pane Mangalore to see the
alliance to his daughter who is already a divorcee and aged 32 years. But to my
surprise, he does not prefer a divorcee to his daughter. The boy must be within
35, and even if he is 36 years, he does not want that boy. I asked him if he is
aged 36, why you don’t want. For this he said he will become old to my daughter
you know. In fact I really got angry and wanted to beat him left and right on
his face. Useless father. His daughter is already a divorcee and aged 32. Still
he utters all such nonsense!
9. Another mother of a girl working in Wipro and
getting the salary of Rs.10 Lakhs a package is already aged 28 Years is going
on searching for the match to her daughter. She got another two girls of which
one is already aged 27 and came to the marriage age also! What is her demand is
that the boy should be near to her house only but not preferring “Ghar Jamai”. For
your knowledge, she is staying in a rented house and changed the same in this
Bangalore city at least twelve times in 5 years. Then how come she gets the boy
to her daughter near to her house. Even she is not ready to give her daughter
out of Chennai. She might have rejected at least 600 horoscopes so far. Now
even her daughter appears to be old in her face which she is not observing. Who
will advise her?
When will she get real sense about her daughter’s marriage?
10. Some girls are simply saying that particular boy is
not suitable as he is aged. When we asked how many years he is aged more than
you? For this she says simply I don’t want. That is all. Why she is doing this
you know? Because of her job in a software company and the salary package she
is getting in that company! But she is not aware that her age is already
crossed or crossing 30.
11. One more girl working in a software company came to
my house for the marriage purpose. What is her timing you know? Between 2.00 PM
to 2 AM Night. So, suppose if she would have got married, her husband would be
in fine sleep at night when she returns from a cab from the working place, she
would have gone to fine sleep when her husband started leaving to the work in
the morning. Then where is the time for family happiness? Is this the life
after marriage you call? So better not to marry is my sincere advice to her. Or
she has to change her job which may be suitable for her married life. If she
gets married, that marriage would have been another divorce, of course.
12. For some girls, they do not know that their age has
already 30. But they don’t want their fiancée should be aged 37 or 38! It
should not be even 33 years. She straight away rejects the proposal on her own
without asking her parents also. She wants 31 and a half. Even her parents have
no courage to advise her or voice against her. They have lost all the courage
to advise her because of her salary from the software company. So according to
me indirectly or directly, these companies spoiled the life of younger
generation all over the world.
13. Some girls
with engineering qualification working in Mumbai. When a proposal from
Bangalore or Chennai comes, the girl says, why should always we the girl should
go and see the boy? Why not the boy should come to Mumbai and see us. Again the
girl even today complains to their parents that without seeing her husband’s background,
matching is finalized. Perhaps she do not know father knew all their family
history. She is none other than my own daughter! I told her, your mother in law
used to stich saree fall, blouses and all ladies garments during that period.
Our sisters are approaching her for the same. One of her sister is classmate of
my sister. One of her aunt was thee classmate of my elder brother. Her maternal
uncle is my teacher at Kota high school. Her brother is my classmate. What more
you want? They are very respectable family. I need not see the boy as you had
already passed him. So, my dear daughter, remove these thoughts from your dirty
brain.
14. Some parents from boy side also, after seeing the
girl, they went back and telephone the parents of the girl about their consent.
For that, the girl was in sleeping mode at around 7.30 AM. At that time, her
father was working in a Nationalised Bank in Mumbai. She was telling , “Oh father, do not give my opinions to them
without taking my permission. If I happen to be the father of that girl, I
would have simply told, that bloody girl, what did you say? Do I want your
opinion in this matter? Who are you to say so? I know how to take you to the
marriage “Mantap”! You simply keep quiet now. I don’t want your opinion at all.
But how many parents will have such my type of courage. In fact, now the same
girl is saying , Papa, if you had not taken such a bold step, I would have
missed such a good handsome, gentleman. She is none other than my own eldest
daughter.
15. Just 15 days back one incident took place. The girl
has done CA and of course not fully! I took one party to see the girl in her
house. The boy is having B.E. degree and working in a software company at
Bangalore for the package of Rs.12 Lakhs. To our surprise, they gathered nearly
30 people, all their relatives and friends in their house as if it was marriage
fixing ceremony. We went inside and I personally told the girl and the boy to
go on top of the floor to have conversation between them. Suddenly one voice (ASHAREERAVANI)
came from an adjacent room saying that “Putti, do not give your opinion right
now! You may say so after words! Now you only call for phone number and WhatsApp
number! That girl also told us what she said from the room ditto. We all were
taken aback. At least her parent did not teach her how to behave in such a
situation. Not even their “Purohit” who was with us.
16. We straight away walked away from that place.
However, while coming back I went once again inside and fired that Girl with CA
degree stating that you have done simply CA and nothing in your brain at all.
You did not even know how to behave and talk to the elders. Again I told her do
you know in which star you born? Simply suffer! After telling her and the mob
there, I also simply walked away from there! My advice to the educated ladies
that simply education will not be suffice. You should have common sense as well
as general behavior pattern also in a public like such type of situations! Even
parents should learn how to train their children when such situations are
coming.
17. It is very surprise that now a days people are not
aware that your selection should be at the best within 4 to 5 horoscopes only!
You should not go on selecting and selecting and from that you get no outcome
at all. It is not enough that you are highly qualified and taking very high
package also. You should know utter common sense to talk.
18. If you ask personally, I will say do not go for
matching the horoscope. You just take the personal opinion of both boy and the
girl and try to tie the marriage knot once they crosses age of 30 plus.
19. Another engineer girl, a proprietress of medical
drugs store running here in Bangalore! In fact since she is aged 32 years and
looking very beautiful, I wanted to talk directly with her mother about an
alliance of a boy who is aged 34 years. What she told you know? Mr. Upadhyaji,
do you want to take blow from the chapels from my daughter? What was my reply to her you know? Since I am
also having the habit of beating others with chapels, I want to take beatings
from you daughter I said. By hearing this she continuously laughed and told,
Upadhyaji, even if my daughter is not getting married also I am not worried. By
hearing your words, I am very happy that I just got the “punya” of my kanyadana
of my daughter! You should come to my house any how she said. Ultimately she
got married also later onwards not with our boy, but with someone of her
choice.
20.
For some parents, they not even
knew that their girl is having affairs. Till last moment also they were not
aware of such incidence. One such incidence happened here in Bangalore that on
the previous day of marriage, the girl rejected the boy telling that she had an
affair with her college mate! So the next day marriage was cancelled. In fact
the girl’s father was in top most post in a corporate sector. Ultimately she
was married to a boy of her choice.
Whatever it may be. My concern is about the parents. Whether they really
do not know her love affairs or acted simply on the previous day of her
marriage? What type of parents they are. Of course, this matter I came to know
from the girl’s father only in Kolkata, when I acted as the secretary of
Karnataka Sangha, Kolkata.
21.
One of the lawyers approached me
stating that he has got a girl with an engineering degree. She is just a
college out. It means she is just 26-27 in the year 2014. But what was his
demand you know. He prefers to give his daughter to a boy who does not have
parents. What type of demand is this I thought? Immediately I fired that lawyer
that is he not a parent? If so then why are you asking for this? In fact when I
contacted his better half recently his wife was crying and telling that she is
yet to be married. Today she is just 30!
22.
Some parents are really helpless
as they are from poor family and because of this background, when they saw a
good salary from their daughter, it is quite natural that they feel that even
if their daughter do not get marry, it will be ok for them. Of course such type
of parents was hardly 5 to 10 % in our society. But they are there. They enjoy
with the salary of their daughter.
23.
Some of the matching was spoiled
because of our great astrologers. They do not even think that it is great job
of joining one soul with another soul. They simply go as per almanac regarding Astakoot!
They do not knew even if the points are just 17 or 18 and if “PHALAPHALS” are good,
then that two horoscopes can be matched and can tie the marriage knot! Here is
one example I wanted to give you All. My star is Rohini-2 and my better half’s
star is Uttarashadha -3. If you see the Astakoot, it will fetch only 17 points!
But kalatradhipati of the boy, that is mewhose lagna is Mithun, is Jupiter is in Aries, which is 11th
house from Gemini Ascendant is the best match! We just spent 40 years of happy
married life and also I got Doctorate degree in this year 2017 on February 20th
at Delhi in 40th International Astrology Conference, New Delhi at
Shree Adya Katyayani Shakthi Peeth Auditorium and was conferred by Indian Oriental
Institute of Heritage. So learn my dear parents learn from us!
24.
Again while looking for Doshas,
don’t go blindly for Magnal Dosha. You
all should know there are many dictums say that if Jupiter’s aspect or
association with Mars, then there is no Mangal Doshas, If it is Aries and
Scorpio wherein Mars is deposited, then there is no Mangal Doshas etc. Even
Rahu Dosh will also suffice to cancel your strong Managal Dosha. I will give here one example. In girls’
horoscope say Mars and Sun are posited in 7th house viz.
Sagittarius. Hers is Gemini Ascendant. In boy’s Capricorn Ascendant, if Mars
and Rahu in 12th house, then that boy is very suitable for this girl.
I just did the marriage of the both. Today they are happily spent 10 solid
years with one boy of age 8 years! So do not stick what an astrologer say! Have
some sense of yours also!
25.
Now a days parents of both sides
have list of which star is suitable for their boy or a girl. Then why till date
your son or a girl could not able to marry yet!
26.
I sent one horoscope to a boy
born in 1977. He sent it back saying that horoscope is not matching! I was
surprised. He is already 40 years. Half age has already gone. Still he is very
particular about the matching of horoscope. I telephoned to that boy. What he
was telling you know? Uncle being an astrologer I did not expect you to
pressurize me to marry a girl whose horoscope is not at all matching with mine.
Do you want me to go to hell after marrying her? He said. I was literally shocked
to hear this from his mouth.
27.
One of the parents of a boy yet to tie the marriage
knot. What are the reasons for this delay, if you ask me, it is their living style. They yet not knowing, they have to change as per the time. For example, they do have fans in every
room. But yet to switch on. They do have lifts. Yet to switch on. They do have
Air conditioners in every room. Yet to switch on. Then why they installed all
these, you may ask. That is just to show the people that they are rich. More than that, these are not paid by them! They are contributed by their clients! Can you believe this? Now they are finding very difficult to clean the entire 6 Rooms and a hall house! At least I
thought that the son might have changed and he is not like his father! But to
my surprise he is also like father .
28.
Another great gentleman came to
my house. He has on younger son yet to be married. But his age is already 34.
Yet he does not want to bring his daughter in law from “Herle” and Maiya
community. I asked him, why? He says their community will not be suitable for
our Upadhya family. Great. Even I was not aware about this.
29.
Oh My God! I really fed up with this type of
matrimonial job. Sometimes I used to get the feeling of why I should do? Let
them go to do all these/ In what way I will suffer from these kind of
activities. I don’t know when they get proper thinking? Are they not getting
the feeling that because of them they are unnecessarily spoiling the life of
their children? So let me put full stop here.
Written
by
Dr. P
Surendra Upadhya, Ph.D
(Astrology)
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